i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
