I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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