Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
