Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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