she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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