Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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