yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
