I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
