She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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