she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
