Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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