Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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