He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
