My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
