worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
