maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
