Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
