My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
