I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
