we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
