Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
don't judge my taste in strippers
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
