There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
