3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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