You don't have asthma, your pregnant
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
