If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
