no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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