How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
