So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
