My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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