How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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