Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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