But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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