whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
