Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
