U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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