These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
