someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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