yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
