I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
