the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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