just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
