Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
