so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
