if you like me you must not know who I am
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
