Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
