Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
why is half of my head shaved?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
