i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
