This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
