At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
