i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
